What If You Could Not Fail

You Did What in Your Story?

My current project is a novel called The Orange and the Black. Three middle-aged men lose their jobs in the recession—jobs that are unlikely to come back—and they are living off the income of their wives. They escape to the boredom and depression of unemployment by making good on a prank they planned as teenagers but never carried out, stealing and ransoming a local monument—a three-ton sculpture. Of course, it turns into something much bigger.

One of the stumbling blocks I have encountered is how they move this monument. Remember, it weights three tons. For various reasons that become evident in the plot, they choose a technology that is not new, but they apply it in an innovative way. My dilemma, and I have talked with some physicists and chemists about this, is that there are limitations to the technology that might compromise its use for this particular purpose.

As one college professor of physics told me, “It will work in theory, but the reality is that you have some issues.”

I am enamored with the idea, but I could not figure how to get around the problems.

Then this last weekend I went to the UCLA Writers Faire. The event was a series of panel discussions of the various aspects of writing. In part it was a sales pitch for the UCLA Extension Program for Writers, but I still found it useful (and admission was free). One of the panel members of a discussion entitled Truth and Imagination was Michael Buckley, a writer and faculty member who recently authored a collection of short stories called Miniature Men (click here for a reading by Buckley). Among other things Buckley writes science fiction, and he is also referred to as a futurist. He made a comment during the discussion about giving credence to lies in your writing. I realized this man had the answer to my dilemma.

After the lecture I posed my question to him. Without going into detail, I explained the technology problem using the words of the college physics professor: “It will work in theory, but the reality is that you have some issues.”

Buckley’s answer was concise and direct, and I paraphrase: “If there is scientific truth behind what your characters are doing, use the truth to conceal the lie.”

This is the strategy I have been following, but I’ve been blind. Buckley crystalized it. If I incorporate enough scientific fact, the reader will overlook the lie. He might even overlook the lie if he is a physicist and knows better.

I need to speak to some experts, including a few electrical engineers, but now I know how to move that three-ton sculpture.

See ya’ later.

WhatIfYouCouldNotFail.com by Tim Sunderland is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported License.

Saving $$$ at Writers Conferences

This weekend I am attending the UCLA Writers Faire, a one-day writer’s conference in West Los Angeles. This one is free, and free is good. As a writer you should take every chance to attend these
events. I’ve been to conferences, book festivals, panel discussions and anything else I can find.

Sooner or later, though, you will graduate to a full-blown writers conference. These are multi-day events, usually held in a resort location (although if you take it seriously you won’t be doing much resorting). These events can be expensive. The conference fee alone starts at around $500, and they go up from there.

Having attended a few writers conferences, here are some tips for saving money. After all, you are a writer, and by definition, you are poor.

Early Registration—Most conferences have early registration discounts. You save as much as 15% off the fee. Determine your conference ahead of time and sign up early.

Advance Reader Submissions—Many of the larger conferences offer these opportunities. For a fee you can submit five to ten pages of a manuscript, along with your synopsis and query letter, to a seasoned writer, editor or perhaps an agent, for their professional opinion. I made a good connection with an agent at the last conference I attended. At $40 or $50, though, this adds up. I saw people who signed up for as many as five advance reader submissions. That’s a little over the top. Keep it to two, maybe three. You will find after a while they everyone is making similar comments. You are paying for the same information over and over.

Pass on the Host Hotel—Most conferences are held at hotels and the organizers encourage you to get your room there. There are advantages. You are never far from the action, and there is a lot of action. This comes at a cost, though. The host hotel is never cheap. It can easily cost double the conference fee. At a recent conference I was able to get a room at another hotel for half the host hotel rate. It wasn’t as nice, but if you take these conferences seriously, they can turn into a string of 15-hour days. Why pay $200 a night for someplace where you shower, shave and sleep for six hours if you are lucky?

Save More on Lodgings—At the aforementioned writers conference I was feeling pretty smug because I got my room at $80 a night. Then I was talking to a woman who was staying in a bed-and-breakfast, probably nicer than my place, or $60 a night. It pays to shop.

Watch Food Expenses—Lunch at the host hotel can run you $15 to $20 with the tip. Relaxing by the hotel pool with a bag of PBJ sandwiches, an apple and a hard-boiled egg is not as sexy, but lots cheaper. Besides, if you take this conference seriously, you are there early and you stay late for the evening pirate critique sessions. You will need the nap in the chaise lounge. Use the alarm function on your cell phone to wake you up.

Conferences provide great opportunities for professional development and networking, but they are not cheap. These tips will help you keep costs under control. There are other things you can do to economize at writers conferences. Check out this blog once in a while for additional tips.

See ya’ later.

WhatIfYouCouldNotFail.com by Tim Sunderland is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported License.

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Talking to Agents: Wear Your Big Boy Pants

F. Scott Fitzgerald

That is part of the beauty of all literature. You discover that your longings are universal longings, that you're not lonely and isolated from anyone. You belong.

Show me a hero, and I'll write you a tragedy.

I want to know you moved and breathed in the same world with me.

Can’t repeat the past?…Why of course you can! 

“You'll find another.”
God! Banish the thought. Why don't you tell me that 'if the girl had been worth having she'd have waited for you'? No, sir, the girl really worth having won't wait for anybody.

Thomas Pynchon

“It takes, unhappily, no more than a desk and writing supplies to turn any room into a confessional.” 

“Life's single lesson: that there is more accident to it than a man can ever admit to in a lifetime and stay sane.”

My belief is that "recluse" is a code word generated by journalists... meaning, "doesn't like to talk to reporters."

“If they can get you asking the wrong questions, they don't have to worry about answers.” 

I'm in This for the Big Bucks!

Put Together from Junkyard Metal

During my recent vacation I took time to read Savages by Don Winslow.

The plot is simple. Two high school buddies from Southern California, Ben and Chon, make a fortune growing some primo marijuana. A ruthless drug cartel invites them to become partners. This is not the kind of partnership offer you turn down unless you want to permanently reside in a shallow grave in the desert, minus your head, which is being used to scare the crap out of the next guys.

Oliver Stone turned this into a movie, which for the most part was true to the book. What I really liked about Winslow’s novel, however, was his ability to tell a lot of the narrative in the unique slang of the Southern California beach community.

Consider this dialog from O (short for Ophelia) the stoned out beach bunny who is the love interest of the two heroes (yes, they share her—vintage Southern California). O is discussing how her mother gave birth to her (O’s refers to her mother as Paqu—an acronym for Passive-Aggressive Queen of the Universe):

“Did your mother hate you? Chon asked her this one time.

“She didn’t hate me,” O answered. “She hated having me because she got all fat and stuff—which for Paqu was like five LBS.”

Then a few lines later:

--the extra Lincoln wasn’t going to sit well or long on her hips. Paqu got back to the three-million dollar shack on Emerald Bay, strapped little Ophelia into one of those baby packs, and hit the treadmill.

What I like is that Winslow uses the slang in context so that the reader can easily figure it out. When I first read this I immediately understood that Lincoln referred to the extra five pounds Pagu gained when she was pregnant.

I also admire Winslow’s use of similes. My favorite is O’s description of Chon (who is an ex-Navy SEAL and handles the enforcement part of the marijuana business):

Anyway, Chon’s thin enough to be a junkie, all tall, angular, muscled—looks like something put together from junkyard metal.

That description gives you a good idea of what Chon is like at several different levels.

This is the turn of phrase that I envy—but I’m working on it.

See ya’ later.

WhatIfYouCouldNotFail.com by Tim Sunderland is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported License.

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Now Part of the Publishing Strategy is Pre-Sales

Chalk up another change that Amazon has affected in the publishing industry. The Los Angeles Times reports that Jeff Kinney—of Wimpy Kid fame—started his book tour for his eighth novel in the series this last week. This despite Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Hard Luck doesn’t hit the bookshelves until November 5.

Writers and publishing houses are finding out that series novels where readers are well acquainted with the character can garner lots of advance sales. Readers know and love the heroes and they are willing to take a few bucks on the credit card for the advance purchase. Amazon quite often takes a couple of bucks off these advance price tag as an added incentive to make the purchase. (This could also be another element of Amazon’s alleged plot to price indy bookstores out of the market.)

An extreme example of advance sales was The Inferno by Dan Brown. Pre-publication purchases drove the novel into Amazon’s top ten four months before the physical book became available.

This is nothing new. It's been possible for a long time to pre-purchase booksthrough Amazon and even bookstores. We're seeing it push to a higher level, though, and it seems to be working well. 

Also to be noted by would-be authors who are relishing the idea of their first book tour: according to the L.A. Times article, Kinney’s tour covers 150 stops in 50 cities in 90 days. That’s means many two-stop and sometimes three-stop days, lots of hotels and restaurant food—and they wonder why so many authors drink.

See ya’ later.

WhatIfYouCouldNotFail.com by Tim Sunderland is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported License.

Photo by Politics and Prose Bookstore [CC-BY-2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0)], via Wikimedia Commons

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Joseph Heller

Every writer I know has trouble writing.

When I grow up I want to be a little boy.

When I read something saying I've not done anything as good as Catch-22 I'm tempted to reply, Who has?

Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they aren't after you

He had decided to live forever or die in the attempt.

 

Bezos Buys Washington Post: More Change

If you want to make a small fortune in publishing, start with a large fortune—often quoted by executives in the industry

Yesterday’s announcement that Amazon founder Jeff Bezos agreed to purchase the Washington Post has again raised in my mind the conflicted feelings I have about Amazon and the whole future of the traditional printed word, cynically known as dead-tree publishing.

A dear friend of mine who was recently furloughed from the publishing industry (translation: she was laid off) often observes how Barnes & Noble and Borders came in and edged out the independent book stores.  So much so that I live 35 miles from Los Angeles and the nearest independent bookstore is 17 miles from me. Then Amazon came in, along with the Kindle, and edged out Borders, and pretty soon Barnes & Noble will go the same way.

Bezos and a few wannabes are the only game left in town and you can’t very well browse through the shelves on your computer and uncover some jewel of a read. The only place you can do that is a used book store, and we all know what that means—no one gets a royalty on the sale.

Now enter Amazon into the newspaper business. Everyone can agree that the current newspaper model is broken beyond repair. I am a baby boomer, the last generation that wakes up in the morning and goes outside to get the morning newspaper. I page through it over a cup of coffee. When I visit my adult children, they don’t even take the newspaper. They get their news from the internet. Forget the comics, the obits, local business news. If it doesn’t make Twitter or Facebook, it is lost.

The newspapers are getting skinnier and skinnier. As a marketer, I seldom recommend them to my clients. Nobody reads the paper.

So now Bezos is in the newspaper business and if anyone can fix this model, or make it better, he is the man.

But at what cost?

The weeping liberal in me wants to say that it’s not fair. These little bookstores should be allowed to limp along, serving as dust collectors. The same for the newspapers. We should all be out their buying their product and supporting dying industries.

The capitalist in me takes the Darwinian position—survival of the fittest. Adapt or die. In the turmoil of the book market, it was reported this year that independent bookstores are making a comeback. The owners are smarter and more innovative. Adapt or die. They are arranging special events, author signings, computerizing their inventory, embracing electronic publishing and getting attractions like the Expresso.

Bezos will likely come up with a better model, but it will change everything in that industry, too. For the consumer it will be something they want, or it won’t survive. For reporters and designers and ad salespeople, it will be something to which they have to adapt. That’s the way it works. Darwin taught us that.

Given the technology and the economics, it was inescapable. The publishing industry—both books and newspapers--was heading for a change. If not Bezos and Amazon, then someone else. Say what you will about him, but I have a feeling Bezos is the best man to do it.

See ya’ later.

WhatIfYouCouldNotFail.com by Tim Sunderland is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported License.

Photo by James Duncan Davidson from Portland, USA (Etech05: Jeff) [CC-BY-2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0)], via Wikimedia Commons. 

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